This is a English version of my blog post; 『思考は現実化する』が本当かを突き詰めるため、仕事にも出ずに9年も真理探求をした結果、、、、『信じる力』が生まれ、神秘体験が繰り返されるようになった話 vol.1 ～懐疑からの始まり～
Translated by Tina Igarashi
The quest for evidence
I searched for the truth, if the theory “mind is matter” is, in fact, the truth for the last nine years without having a regular job. As a result, I’ve come to believe it with full conviction and mystical (unexplainable) things started happening all around me.
I was the one who flat out refused the spiritual world. It was quite suspicious; I just couldn’t accept it. So I had to find evidence or proof if mind is indeed matter. It was a sudden urge. Since I didn’t have a job, the pursuit of the truth had become my main focus. “If this is true, there’s no way I’m wasting my time working a regular job.
Days of suspicion, gathering of proof
So I began to search for information about the spiritual world or anything related to the subject as it was completely unbelievable to me. Prove it if it’s true. I had no idea that there were so many texts relating to the spiritual world, due to my intense disregard for anything related to it. Tentatively I read all the books I could about the spiritual. All in all, I’ve probably read over 500 books. Many from different parts of the world. I’m so glad I studied English.
Hmm, I still find it all hard to believe. But I still kept reading. Before I knew it, years had past while I read. You may ask why so much time was spent reading and studying a subject I was so suspicious of. Well, as a matter of fact, I found some common ground through my studies. Once I found it, I began to think that perhaps this is reality. This garnered my full attention.
Days of Researching – soul and spirituality
If there is a world that we cannot see. Knowing this changes our perspective. Therefore, I began my research in this field because I felt that pursuing it gives insight into the spiritual world. To be honest, I felt recalcitrant to researching further.
“There’s no way there are ghosts. For everything, there is a scientific explanation. Once, I was in a dark forest and I saw a bright white apparition. But it turned out to be nothing more than the sun reflecting though the trees.”
Even then, out of body experiences and “ectoplasm” are things that are just beyond me. However, I had to agree with the writings of Edgar Casey, who helped others with no compensation. (Reference – Reincarnation by Edgar Casey)
His readings were very respected by the public. “God (spirits), I was able to speak to God. “ I found great interest in this book. I do not know if we speak to our subconscious or to God, but I find great comfort by the contents of these books.
(Conversations with God – find myself in the universe)
But the only thing is that people who can see ghosts, don’t often speak of good experiences.
“Well, I can’t see spirits. That’s probably the best thing for me. If I can believe in the unseen world, that’s all I need.” (and later on, this notion became my reality.)
ESP
To be honest, I couldn’t accept it. “Isn’t it just a trick or something of the like?”
But it might not be so outlandish of a thing, especially if Russia and China are dedicating researching it. When I was reading a book about remote viewing, there was a passage that explained that the actual thing we see is not only the present, but the future. This made me realize that there was a connection between the soul and spiritual, between remote viewing and spiritual fields. Then I read that some American lectures had been held regard this issue. (FBI agent Joe McMonagle, PhD)
In general, I just couldn’t shake this feeling of doubt. But this Japanese lecturer helped my clear my doubts. This man took students to China because he saw an article about those in China who can use ESP.
His take was, if it is difficult for adults, perhaps children can do it with more ease. If Chinese children could do it, Japanese children should be able to as well. But in his trials, he found that no one could. The Japanese children felt as though they could not do it. But the Chinese children convinced them that they can do it. Amazingly, one Japanese child succeeded. Finally, more children fell in line and were able to use ESP.
I was able to agree with this fact. “Well, mind is very important. If I believe I can do it, I can. If I believe I cannot, then I can’t. The mind is what you make of it.”
I delved into Qigong, raeke, yoga, and spiritual operation. There are so many of them, far and wide I researched. All of these things furthered my interest. In china, the master Qigong can send Chi to a patient in surgery and can operate on the patient without any anesthesia. This excited me. I really don’t know if the patient truly was hypnotized or if the reason why he didn’t need any anesthesia was truly the Chi.
Religion
Well there are so many religions in the world. Why were they born? Why do we need them? I suppose everyone needs something to depend on. In my case, I always prayed for God’s help in times of crisis.
“Whatever happens, happens for a reason” This one sentence was my first curiosity. The following contents affected me and excited me. Unconditional love, free spirits, a savior to save our souls, mercy. But I did not become a fanatical religious person. I was only curious about the fundamental idea. The logical part of religion. I had no interest in temples or churches. Rather, getting into formality will take me out from the pursuit of the truth. If I get drawn into these formalities, this war between religions, I’d never escape it.
The most interesting thing to me was meditation. The common ground for many religions was this. Meditation, prayer, zen, yoga. These all sound the same to me. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do them in some far away temple. I wanted to train myself and study in this are. Have a true understanding. I thought meditation was for bored people. I had more philosophical interests in religion. But at this point I thought the Bible was nothing more than a fairy tale.
Science
Science has better persuaded with data, proof, things that are tangible. I studied if reality is truth, I studied physics in order to research if our reality is truly that.
“The matter that we see in front of us.. If put into the quantum level, is empty. Rocks, Iron, matter that we see as not moving is actually moving at the smallest scale we cannot see. Furthermore, matter has anti-matter. If both collide, they both disappear and leaves behind energy. Time, is not a constant for all things. Light travels in waves, at the same time transmits in two areas. Yet the final destination is one.”
Now I thought that the spiritual world was the polar opposite of the scientific one. However, reality is not as accurate as I thought it once was.
So by reading all this information, having previously thought that telepathy, things appearing and disappearing. There being no present or past. As a matter of fact, all of these things are happening at the quantum level. Aside from science and physics, what really peaked my curiosity was brain science.
Research into patients with epilepsy was very interesting. If you sever the brain in half, two brains exist in one head. Both halves function differently, and your actions become inconsistent. Your left brain tells you to do one thing, and your right brain says no, then your body begins to fight itself.
“Really? This is really interesting. If both are connected, then conflict occurs. What should I do?”
Then I got a huge hint from this. My theory is that the right brain has a tremendous ability that, for instance, savants have incredible ability in their memories. If you do not control this, you can do anything. The left brain will put brakes on the right brain, and vice versa. So if the brains don’t cooperate together, the person will have a mental brake.
Well then, if you can control the left brain, incredible things will seem normal. Finally, here at this point, science and religion connect.
“This is what meditation is all about. Meditation calms the left brain and disables the brakes hindering the right. Then you can experience something you’ve never imagined before. Well, this is my theory.” I decided to make meditation my daily routine.
ETC…
In other areas, many people in differing fields mention the occurrence that science cannot prove. Inventors says that because the image came into my brain, I just drafted according to that image.
As well, the musician, the melody came into my brain, and I just transferred onto my notes. The artist says, if you want to draw your thumb, don’t look at your thumb, look at a negative drawing and the thumb will appear. In other words, if you look at your thumb, you already have perspective as to what it looks like. Focus on what’s around it. So thankfully, many things started connecting within me. There are so many changes that happened to me because of the reading I did over so many years. But, my doubt hasn’t been completely cleared. Though many wonderful books that helped me understand, there are so many ideas in my mind that spurred doubt.
“Maybe the author wanted to make more money by writing these ideas. Though he may be serious, but may misunderstand the content.” I finally concluded that it is difficult to prove if it is the truth or not. It’s hard to make me understand by gathering all this evidence…
to the next article: Does Mind really matter? -The way I got to know that the answer was YES!- vol.2